f.r.i.e.n.d.s
Over the years, i have found myself right at the heart of many a social clique. And for a while, they're usually great places to be. Until inevitably, they start to disintegrate. The friends I've walked away from are people who have brought dramatically wonderful things to my life, and i appreciate them for that very much. But sometimes we were so close, boundaries were crossed that made impersonal things - like their man troubles - suddenly personal. Like all your emotional support was just you being the cleaning lady who made it possible for them to stay messy, to go back to the guy and do it all over again. And the resentment and insanity that comes from that can taint a friendship to the point where amputation seems the healthiest option.
Then the ground is pulled from under your feet. You had been in a comfort zone, surrounded by familiarity. Their constant presence had saved you from having to make conscious decisions about who you saw, where you went, and what you talked about. But suddenly, you don't feel like you belonged anymore. The aggrieved muttering and finger-pointing begins. It's all his fault, or her fault, or their fault. But the truth is, there was no blame to be pinned on in the first place. Sometimes friendships simply die natural deaths, the illusion of permanence - that we will always be together, friends forever - is cracked, revealing the underlying, uncomfortable truth: that these arrangements are mostly temporary.
Shows like Friends perpetuate a myth - the myth of the permanently inseparable gang. Yes, i believe great individual friendships can and do last - for years, for decades - but just without the need of any supporting structure of a clique to keep them alive and genuine.
Then the ground is pulled from under your feet. You had been in a comfort zone, surrounded by familiarity. Their constant presence had saved you from having to make conscious decisions about who you saw, where you went, and what you talked about. But suddenly, you don't feel like you belonged anymore. The aggrieved muttering and finger-pointing begins. It's all his fault, or her fault, or their fault. But the truth is, there was no blame to be pinned on in the first place. Sometimes friendships simply die natural deaths, the illusion of permanence - that we will always be together, friends forever - is cracked, revealing the underlying, uncomfortable truth: that these arrangements are mostly temporary.
Shows like Friends perpetuate a myth - the myth of the permanently inseparable gang. Yes, i believe great individual friendships can and do last - for years, for decades - but just without the need of any supporting structure of a clique to keep them alive and genuine.
