i always choose the easy way out
This is the longest i've ever gone without writing something here. And seriously after all these years, i can't care less who is reading anymore.
I like being inhibited here. In a world that i can call my own. But i know it's dangerous, these words on the screen, not so much in the forming of them, but in the impact they could have. I'm in no danger that a tower of words stacked one atop another is going to fall apart before i lay in the last period, but more that someone will come along, pull out the wrong word or phrase, and watch the whole Jenga tower come crashing down on their toes.
I think of things to write at the oddest times, usually when it’s completely inconvenient or there is just no time to sit at a computer typing out my cathartic ramblings. A moment, an instant, a picture in time. I'd be walking out from the shower drying off and thinking...i could write about this and that. That would make a good story. That would...wait, can’t write that! I couldn't begin to talk about that without misleading someone. By the time i finished combing my hair, I’d completely forgotten the whole internal dialog.
So there’s self-censorship in here. That's a good thing, because we've all got those moments that are not completely ours to share. Moments that so affect us in our youth that we're forever altered in our world view. Moments that swirl around our subconscious until they bubble over at the oddest times.
There are days when you feel you have nothing to say. Other days, you are simply afraid of words you might use, the honesty that might slip through. And then, there are these days, days when all you really want is to stand on the end of a runway, hear the jets rage behind you, fell them slip gently into the air above, and watch as they melt into murky clouds of forgotten sky.
I like being inhibited here. In a world that i can call my own. But i know it's dangerous, these words on the screen, not so much in the forming of them, but in the impact they could have. I'm in no danger that a tower of words stacked one atop another is going to fall apart before i lay in the last period, but more that someone will come along, pull out the wrong word or phrase, and watch the whole Jenga tower come crashing down on their toes.
I think of things to write at the oddest times, usually when it’s completely inconvenient or there is just no time to sit at a computer typing out my cathartic ramblings. A moment, an instant, a picture in time. I'd be walking out from the shower drying off and thinking...i could write about this and that. That would make a good story. That would...wait, can’t write that! I couldn't begin to talk about that without misleading someone. By the time i finished combing my hair, I’d completely forgotten the whole internal dialog.
So there’s self-censorship in here. That's a good thing, because we've all got those moments that are not completely ours to share. Moments that so affect us in our youth that we're forever altered in our world view. Moments that swirl around our subconscious until they bubble over at the oddest times.
There are days when you feel you have nothing to say. Other days, you are simply afraid of words you might use, the honesty that might slip through. And then, there are these days, days when all you really want is to stand on the end of a runway, hear the jets rage behind you, fell them slip gently into the air above, and watch as they melt into murky clouds of forgotten sky.
