mitchell hedberg cracks me up
I got a belt on that's holding up my pants, and the pants have belt loops that hold up the belt. What's going on here? Who is the real hero?
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I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "I'll just get a tan instead.
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I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
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I walked by a dry cleaner at 3 am, and there was a sign: "Sorry, we're closed" You don't have to be sorry, it's 3 am, and you're a dry cleaner! It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open! I'm not gonna walk in at 10 am and say "I walked by here at 3 and you were closed - somebody owes me an apology!"
***
I was going to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "I'll just get a tan instead.
***
I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.
***
I walked by a dry cleaner at 3 am, and there was a sign: "Sorry, we're closed" You don't have to be sorry, it's 3 am, and you're a dry cleaner! It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open! I'm not gonna walk in at 10 am and say "I walked by here at 3 and you were closed - somebody owes me an apology!"
