on my mind
Some things in this world go on forever - like discontentment. There will always be discontentment in my heart. I try to avoid it and overcome it. Then there are times when i'm successful. Still though, somehow, discontentment reproduces itself like a single cell amoeba. A seemingly self-replenishing substance.
***
I'm unsure at what age this kicked in, but it still hasn't stopped - i have a nearly pathological need for everyone to be happy with me.
If you want to really torture me, hint that i may have done you a wrong, and don't tell me what it is. Tell me it's fine, and i should forget about it, it's not a big deal. Your vague anger and lack of closure will haunt me. I will apologize even if i am sure i have done nothing wrong, even if i am unsure what it was i did to hurt you, just so you will forgive me. Some people carry grudges. I carry the grudges of others.
****
When it rains, it's almost as if it's a movie and everything becomes picture perfect - everything moves with flawlessness and fluency. I can stand at my window and look at it for hours. Things look prettier in the fog of the pouring rain because motion conceals blemishes that stillness and light would otherwise blatantly parade.
***
I'm unsure at what age this kicked in, but it still hasn't stopped - i have a nearly pathological need for everyone to be happy with me.
If you want to really torture me, hint that i may have done you a wrong, and don't tell me what it is. Tell me it's fine, and i should forget about it, it's not a big deal. Your vague anger and lack of closure will haunt me. I will apologize even if i am sure i have done nothing wrong, even if i am unsure what it was i did to hurt you, just so you will forgive me. Some people carry grudges. I carry the grudges of others.
****
When it rains, it's almost as if it's a movie and everything becomes picture perfect - everything moves with flawlessness and fluency. I can stand at my window and look at it for hours. Things look prettier in the fog of the pouring rain because motion conceals blemishes that stillness and light would otherwise blatantly parade.
