grown up
I was spending some time with Angela today before her bible study, and it reminded me what a difference 4 years can make. She is 18 and i am 22.
The trouble with being a grown-up is that i have to keep remembering to act like one. Yet within me, there's still the little girl i used to be. I still feel like throwing the occasional tantrum. I want to be amazed by the insignificance of everyday life. I still feel scared of things or people that cannot really harm me. (The thunder, for example.) I wish i can still make foolish, impulsive decisions because it is the sorta thing that children are expected to do which nobody bats an eyelid at.
I go to school everyday in officey clothes now because i have to go to work in the afternoon. I catch my reflection in the mirrors of the lift and i stare. Who's that woman in a pencil skirt and heels and lipstick? Why do i look so different when i feel the same inside? I don't feel like a young student going to work anymore, i feel like a working single going to school. I look at my classmates and suddenly, i feel out of place. I feel i'm in the midst of a metamorphesis. But i'm not sure what i'm supposed to turn into.
I'm an adult already, aren't i? What else can i be? An adult kind of adult?
The trouble with being a grown-up is that i have to keep remembering to act like one. Yet within me, there's still the little girl i used to be. I still feel like throwing the occasional tantrum. I want to be amazed by the insignificance of everyday life. I still feel scared of things or people that cannot really harm me. (The thunder, for example.) I wish i can still make foolish, impulsive decisions because it is the sorta thing that children are expected to do which nobody bats an eyelid at.
I go to school everyday in officey clothes now because i have to go to work in the afternoon. I catch my reflection in the mirrors of the lift and i stare. Who's that woman in a pencil skirt and heels and lipstick? Why do i look so different when i feel the same inside? I don't feel like a young student going to work anymore, i feel like a working single going to school. I look at my classmates and suddenly, i feel out of place. I feel i'm in the midst of a metamorphesis. But i'm not sure what i'm supposed to turn into.
I'm an adult already, aren't i? What else can i be? An adult kind of adult?
Labels: introspection
