dreamer
I know people who have a teflon-coated psyche. No matter what they encounter, they shrug it off. Even the most intense experiences seem to make no mark on them. They miss the whole point because ignorance is not bliss. I think it's rather like a really strong painkiller. You tell yourself that as long as i can keep some in my system, i can avoid noticing many problems. Warning signals pass you by. Important alerts fall on deaf ears. Situations go from bad to worse to diabolical, and you say like i care? You are oblivious to it all. That's scary and that's me in year 2000.
Then there are others who resemble cactus plants.
Anything that gets remotely near them tends to stick for a while. They don't forget or ignore a situation until they've learned all it has to teach them. They raise question after question to others, and sometimes themselves. They reflect very deeply. So that when it finally comes the time to put it behind them, they do so decisively. That's me now. When i say 'i have put it behind me', it is as good as eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. I don't think about it. Period. And my judgemental nature wonders why you can't do the same.
It takes an awful lot to throw me off balance. Or rather, it takes very little...but i'll put up with an enormous amount of crap before i start to take permanent umbrage. I've got some selective memories - that's how i survive. I don't dwell too much on what is painful to remember. I rewrite history just as soon as it has happened. And as for the future? Well, i absolutely love the fact that it is such an open book. An empty canvas. There is at least some breathing room, some chance for new thoughts and memories, for intimacy and discovery. There's a chance for hope to rise up. I can project whatever i want. And i do. That's why i can barely see forward in time with any degree of accuracy.
Like wine tasters who forget to swirl and spit, i swallow the first thing i see and end up drunk on my dreams.
Then there are others who resemble cactus plants.
Anything that gets remotely near them tends to stick for a while. They don't forget or ignore a situation until they've learned all it has to teach them. They raise question after question to others, and sometimes themselves. They reflect very deeply. So that when it finally comes the time to put it behind them, they do so decisively. That's me now. When i say 'i have put it behind me', it is as good as eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. I don't think about it. Period. And my judgemental nature wonders why you can't do the same.
It takes an awful lot to throw me off balance. Or rather, it takes very little...but i'll put up with an enormous amount of crap before i start to take permanent umbrage. I've got some selective memories - that's how i survive. I don't dwell too much on what is painful to remember. I rewrite history just as soon as it has happened. And as for the future? Well, i absolutely love the fact that it is such an open book. An empty canvas. There is at least some breathing room, some chance for new thoughts and memories, for intimacy and discovery. There's a chance for hope to rise up. I can project whatever i want. And i do. That's why i can barely see forward in time with any degree of accuracy.
Like wine tasters who forget to swirl and spit, i swallow the first thing i see and end up drunk on my dreams.
Labels: introspection
