over time

Mr D drew this for my entry and i stole it off his blog 'cos i really like this picture. :)

I don't believe true friendship and love happens just like...this.

You don't discover them in the meeting of eyes, the touch of the shoulders when you stand in a crowded train, in an animated conversation about class schedules. These things don't happen in 15 min, 6 days or 6 months. They happen over time, over mood swings and wardrobe malfunctions, over 'i can't believe you did this to me' fights and cold silences after hasty 'you don't understand me' smses. They happen without ceremony and fanfare, a bond weaved with ropes of mutual respect and the same sense of humour tightened over the years. You don't really know someone until you know what they had last cried over, what they are still crying over, until you've survived PMS (both yours and theirs) and exchange awkward moments after flared tempers.

Until you've survived disappointment and handed them your pride on a silver platter, you haven't really known them. Or allowed yourself be known by them. They are fair-weather friends and safety blanket lovers. We all have baggage, past hurts, skeletons in the closet and unshed tears. Some people are all about finding matching luggage. We are desperate for companionship, for someone who understands, and suddenly you find it waiting for you on life's big conveyor belt just like that. We determine in 1 month, wow it really suits me; they meet your needs, up until a point - the point will come soon. Thats where you feel you hit a barricade, and no amount of love will help with the pole vault over it. You can drag out the friendship and love in a search for closure, to get back the what we used to have!'s or you can come to terms with it within yourself, in a moment. In a word.

"I think i have never really trusted him or her enough to be myself."

Please toss away the love-at-first-sights, best-friends-at-first-touch, the-unspoken-chemistry-we-have and what not. I'm not a believer of those. I'm romanticist in many other ways, even in platonic friendships. And i'm amused by the whole concept of Friendster, the irony of having over 200 "friends" in your list and exaggerated flattery in testimonials. True, one should never be stingy with affection and encouragement for the ones you love but hey, lend me your shoulder and your ears and give me fresh flowers anyday if you proclaim to love me as much as you do in front of everyone else. :)

M # Monday, October 17, 2005.